Adolescent 'comedian' stokes family discord with prank
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the April 27, 2009 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Sun Correspondent
Lowell Sun

DEAR MIKE: Our 16-year-old son Joshua sees himself as an aspiring comedian and is constantly pulling some sort of practical joke, either at home or in school. He has gotten into his fair share of trouble, especially at school.

The problem is my husband thinks this is all harmless kid stuff and keeps saying Joshua will outgrow it. To be honest, up until now I have reluctantly agreed with him.

However, Joshua's latest stunt went over the line and caused a lot of heartache for his sister.

Last week, my daughter, Carol, came to the house, complaining about how she and her boyfriend Jim were not getting along too well. She actually said she thought he might be seeing an old girlfriend. Joshua, the joker, decided to send his sister a letter on stationery from Jim's company -- don't ask me how he got the stationery -- saying this girl had used Carol's name as a reference for a job at the company.

Well, as you might expect, it all hit the fan. Carol and Jim had a huge fight and it was only after things escalated that Joshua spoke up about his prank.

Carol, Jim and I were livid at Joshua for what he did. My husband on the other hand still thinks it's just kid stuff. While I am extremely angry with my son for what he did, I am also angry with my husband for his attitude over the entire thing. He keeps saying I am making something out of nothing. Do I have a right to be angry? -- Nancy

DEAR NANCY: While Joshua is no threat to replace Jay Leno anytime soon, he might be lining himself up for a spot on the Postal Service mail fraud list.

He has definitely gone over the edge when it comes to his sense of humor and your husband really needs to see this. Sending a letter to someone and causing that person undue harm is against the law. He needs to think about what could have happened if some sort of violence had taken place because of his letter.

Joshua must realize before it is too late that while he may think his little practical jokes are funny, his fun is coming at the expense of others. While part of this may be blamed on his immaturity, he still needs to realize that he is responsible for his actions. His father needs to realize that sticking his head in the sand and waiting for it to go away is not the answer.

Joshua should suffer consequences for his actions and be told that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated. Your anger is well justified. You need to use that anger to force yourself into taking steps to close the curtain on this comedian's act before the law enforcement community does it for you.

And your husband needs to wake up and smell the coffee because he is standing by and watching his son joke himself right into serious trouble. Good luck. -- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Send questions to him at Stressunit@aol.com or send mail to: Stress Unit, c/o The Editor, Box 1477, Lowell, MA 01853.