Campaign supporter feels official betrayed his trust
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the February 6, 2012 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Correspondent

DEAR MIKE: About a year ago, a man I have known for some years decided that he wanted to run for our town council because, like me, he did not think members of the council were hearing people's problems.

I got involved fully in his campaign from the start. For six months, I worked around the clock helping him get elected. When I tell you it was around the clock, it was. I skipped a family vacation and I don't know how many family events just to work on this campaign because I believed in him.

My wife and I had a pretty good-sized falling out because I was spending so much time on this. When she complained, I would tell her it is going to be worth it -- this guy really cares about the people.

I have to say that my wife did not like this guy from the start. There was something that bugged her about him. "This guy seems like a phony," she would say.

I also talked a few of my good friends into giving up a lot of their time to help this guy and some of them ran into problems at home for giving up so much time.

Well, our efforts did not go in vain. This guy topped the ticket, then was elected chairman of the town council by the four other members. I thought this was great. Not only was he elected, but he was respected by his fellow board members.

What I did not realize was that as soon as he was elected he made a deal with the others to support a controversial project that a good part of the town was against. I called his office and left a message that I wanted to talk to him about it. His secretary called and said I could express my sentiments at the upcoming public hearing and that he was too busy to call me back.

Needless to say I am appalled and embarrassed beyond belief. I am having a hard time looking my wife and friends in the eye. I am so angry but I don't know what to do. -- Charlie

DEAR CHARLIE: You have all the right in the world to be angry. This man used not only you but your friends and all the people who worked hard to get him elected.

I would suggest a couple of things. First, write him a letter outlining your anger at what he has done. Go to the public hearing and speak your mind and encourage others to do the same.

If this does not work, check out the recall provisions in your town charter and see if it is possible to start a recall petition. If you put even some of these things in motion, it is very possible he will call to ask why you are doing this and then you can explain.

He violated your trust and that is a very low thing to do. It seems that he had a hidden agenda from the start. As far as your wife and friends go, talk to them. Tell them you had no idea you were dragging them into this. I'm willing to be they will understand.

Don't bury your anger. Use it to make the situation better.

Good luck. -- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Contact him at stressunit@aol.com or 978-606-3955.