Receptionist needn't tolerate abusive behavior by doctors' patient
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the February 2, 2009 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Sun Correspondent
Lowell Sun

DEAR MIKE: I have been working as a receptionist in a very busy doctors' office for the past 15 years. I love my job, especially interacting with the patients. Over the last couple of years, though, that task has been getting more difficult. Some of the patients get upset over things like having to wait, insurance regulations and co-payments, and they're becoming more verbally abusive.

One lady, who on a good day is difficult at best, came into the office two weeks ago, looking to have a procedure that is not normally performed in the office but rather at the hospital. When I informed her that she could not have it done in the office, she exploded into a 20-minute tirade that I thought would get physical at one point. All the time this woman was screaming and yelling in the lobby, not one doctor or nurse came out to see what was going on. I was very frightened.

She left the office in a very angry mood and said she'd be back in two weeks and she expected to have the procedure done then or else. I told the nurse who is also the office manager and she said, "Oh, don't worry about her, she'll get over it."

However, she's coming back and I am worried about it. I am scared to death that when I have to tell her she cannot have the procedure done she is going to explode again and maybe get physically violent this time. I want to send this woman a letter telling her she is not welcome back until she realizes that her behavior will not be tolerated but the office manager says I cannot do that because it will look bad for the office.

I am frustrated. Do you have any suggestions? -- Maryellen

DEAR MARYELLEN: Well, it sounds like this woman has some serious mental health issues because what you are describing is far from normal behavior. That being said, however, it is not part of your job to take abuse from patients or anyone else for that matter. The office supervisors, or at least the office manager, seem lax in their duties if they let someone insult a staff member like that.

Ask for a meeting with the person in charge overall, probably one or more of the doctors, and explain your position. You should ask them to contact the woman and explain to her why she cannot have the procedure done in the office. They should also explain to her that what she did was improper and will not be tolerated.

If they refuse, inform them that when this woman returns, if she starts her bad behavior again, you will call the police to have her removed. This should get their attention, because if they are worried about causing a scene in the waiting room, having the police come in will really cause a scene.

Remember, no matter what, do not let this woman drag you down to her level; maintain your professionalism and you will come out on top. Also remember not to let her rent space in your head. You have not done anything to her. You're just doing your job. Good luck. -- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Send questions to him at Stressunit@aol.com or send mail to: Stress Unit, c/o The Editor, Box 1477, Lowell, MA 01853.