Teen is the only guy responsible for his hair-raising predicament
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the February 22, 2010 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Sun Correspondent
Lowell Sun

DEAR MIKE: I'm a 14-year-old boy and, for long as I can remember, I have been teased about the size of my head. The kids in school have called me names like "The Brain," "Captain Head Butt," etc.

To stop the name-calling I thought I would wear a hat to school but a sexist teacher told me to take it off or I would be suspended. The reason I say she's sexist is because she allows girls to wear hats but not the guys.

A few weeks ago, I decided dye my hair platinum white, hoping to distract people from making fun of my head and send all the attention to my hair. To be honest, I figured it would drive this particular teacher out of her mind.

I asked one of the girls I am friendly with to help me do it. At first, she was hesitant but she finally gave in. We went to the drug store and purchased the materials and went back to my house while my parents were working and dyed my hair.

Well, not only did it not come out very well (it turned green), it burned my head. When I looked into the mirror my head looked like the Hulk. I immediately blamed this girl and started yelling at her and telling her if she did not fix it I was going to punch her; she got scared and bolted from my house.

Somehow I was able to hide this from my parents that night. The next day, I thought about it some more and decided to go to school and get a few laughs and show that teacher a thing or two.

The entire thing backfired on me. The kids laughed but I was sent to the office and the principal not only called my parents he told me I was being suspended. To add insult to injury, the girl I threatened told her parents, who called the police. Now I have to answer to them about the threatening charge.

I am very upset at this girl for messing up my hair and for getting me involved with the police. My father says I am out of line for being upset with her because it is my fault. What do you think? -- Bruce

DEAR BRUCE: Your father is right. You are the one who asked this girl to dye your hair in the first place. You said she was hesitant at first but gave in, probably after you pleaded with her.

You admitted that you threatened her. What else was she supposed to do? She thought you were going to hurt her. I would have done the same thing her parents did if she were my daughter.

This entire mess is all on you and you need to take responsibility for it. You should talk to your parents and figure out the best way to fix your hair, either professionally or by cutting it off. You need to go to the police station, tell them what you did and see if you can fix this with a genuine apology.

You also need to become comfortable with your looks and forget what others are saying. In anger management, Rule No. 2 is that it's OK to have a different opinion. You don't have to let others rent space in your head. Good luck. -- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Contact him at stressunit@aol.com or (978) 459-4884.