Hiring friend of a friend was a big mistake, executive learns
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the March 1, 2010 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Sun Correspondent
Lowell Sun

DEAR MIKE: Last year, I had to hire an administrative assistant for my busy public relations office. Ignoring the advice of others to use a recruiting firm, I hired the friend of a friend. What a mistake that turned out to be.

While this person is very pleasant, after a full year she has no clue about what she is doing. I have tried everything, including sending her for training and seminars.

Last week, I asked her to type a final proposal and send it out immediately. Somehow, the instructions must have gotten lost in translation, because she did not send it until three days later -- resulting in my losing a substantial contract.

When I called her into the office about this, I was, I will admit, very angry and upset. She immediately broke down and started crying, saying she needed to go home right away. I then had someone drive her home.

When he returned, he told me she said that if I brought this up again, she was going to get a lawyer and sue me. To make matters worse, I got a call from the friend who asked me to hire her in the first place. He said he was upset with me for harassing his friend.

Now I am faced with an employee who wants to sue me and in danger of losing a friendship. Do you think my anger is justified or am I really at fault here? -- Brian

DEAR BRIAN: You probably realize now why experts advise keeping friendships and business relations separate. More often than not, they don't mix.

You are 100 percent right about being upset with the performance of this employee. However, up until now, it sounds like you have done little to nothing in the way of progressive discipline. So, yes, as crazy as it sounds, in today's litigious society it may be possible for her to sue you successfully.

Call her in for a meeting and talk about her job performance. Make sure you keep it civil and in general terms. Let her know that her work performance needs to start improving because it is having a direct effect on the entire company. See if you can work out a plan to help improve her performance. Let her know that, in an effort to help her improve, you will be meeting with her on a regular basis.

It would be a very good idea to run this by your company attorneys and possibly have them at this meeting. The main thing here is not to let your anger get out of control because you have not done anything in the past about this situation. Keep it in the present. Above all else, document everything from this point on just in case you do end up in court.

Remember, doing nothing will only worsen the situation. As far as that friend who is upset with you over this, you might want to re-evaluate the friendship. Good luck.-- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Contact him at stressunit@aol.com or (978) 459-4884.