Troublemaker's lies lead to problems for supervisor
(this article was first published in the LifeStyles section of the November 16, 2009 edition of the Lowell Sun. If you're interested in viewing other articles, click here.)

Stress Unit
By MICHAEL HAYDEN, Sun Correspondent
Lowell Sun

DEAR MIKE: A few months ago, I was promoted to supervisor at my place of employment. At first, the job seemed like a great fit. Lately, though, it's taking a toll on me. I have trouble sleeping and take the job home with me, something I never did before, and my family is suffering as a result.

It all revolves around one employee, who seems to be going out of his way to make things miserable at work. He complains about everything and everyone, starts rumors that cause tension in the plant and seems to pit one employee against another constantly. He has worked there for a number of years and although I knew of him, I had not had much interaction with him until I became his supervisor. Now, it seems like he is in my office daily, complaining about someone or something and demanding that I do something about it. He has gotten me into the middle of a couple of situations by giving me information that was less than truthful.

Last week, he told me a story about another employee, which involved some pretty serious allegations, to the point that I had to go to security and have them start an investigation. This employee insisted that I give him complete confidentiality, which I foolishly did. During the investigation people were questioned, causing some of them serious problems. Now, security is telling me that most of the information I gave them doesn't seem to be panning out and it looks like the story is far from what I had originally told them.

I am at the point that I just want to call this guy in to my office, pin him up against the wall and tell him off, yet I can't bring myself to confront him. Again, I am taking it out on others and my family. Do you have any suggestions? -- Jackson

DEAR JACKSON: First, you have to drop the thought of putting him up against the wall, because that will only serve to get you sued and probably fired. Second, the confidentiality deal should go out the window, because he gave you the information under false pretenses.

Next, sit down and put the entire situation in writing, then re-read it and formulate a plan on how to best approach this individual. I would also suggest that you get some help by consulting your supervisor or someone else you can trust. You must also realize that you might suffer some type of consequences for not checking this guy's story out before you asked for an investigation. However, I would suggest you look at it as a learning tool.

The next thing to do is think about the promotion you took. Ask yourself, is it worth it? Can you learn to deal with the problems of being a supervisor without taking it out on your family and others? If the answer is no, then maybe you should look into going back to your old job or moving on. Remember, no matter what the rewards are, no job is worth losing your self-respect and family over. Good luck. -- Mike

Michael Hayden is a certified anger management counselor who runs Bay State Anger Management and Counseling in Chelmsford. Contact him at stressunit@aol.com or (978) 459-4884.